We fall into our judgments. Conflict resolution involves a great deal of learning. It takes effort on our part to learn the skill of conflict resolution. We notice that there is a conflict and we pull back. We do this to protect ourselves because of fear of being taken advantage of or because we don’t understand.
We begin to build stories. We build and share stories about those we have conflicts with. Others might agree with us which makes us feel more righteous. After time, we become so rooted in our judgments, and it becomes harder to step away from them. You can begin to believe these judgments to the point that you can’t conceive that you might be wrong about this person. We’ve labeled others and place them into an unchangeable system.
Be willing to be wrong. Admit that you’ve made some conclusions about them and let them know what your perceptions are. Then ask them if you could be wrong or if they see any flaws in your reasoning. When you let them know that you are open to other possibilities, you may see them lower their walls, because you are trying to understand them. Get the entire picture before you take a position.